Searching for the animal within

In an attempt to ease the brain recently, I did a few online tests, trying to find out what real-life animal fits my personality.

One test said I was a mole, another a racoon. Then there was the one that said I was a lion. Another said I was a hermit crab and the fifth said I was a rabbit. There was one that said I was a snake, but apparently I had just taken a previous test again. Note the completely different result the second time. So anyway, it means yours could truly be either small furry creatures (not sure if I see the similarities there), the king of the jungle (obviously that one's wrong), a crustacean (I can be crabby) or Bugs Bunny's cousin (I like carrots but not that much). My search continues.

But while some of us are looking for some kind of connection to the animal kingdom, others occasionally resort to man's more primal tendencies. Take Liverpool forward Luis Suarez for instance, who, for the second time in his career (that we know of), has been reprimanded for biting an opponent. The first was in 2010. If there is ever a zombie apocalypse and mindless beings start feeding on all forms of live meat, he would be first in line. Perhaps he's suffering from a protein deficiency, like a mild form of vampirism, and just needs an injection of human DNA every few years. So circa 2016, he'll be munching on somebody else.

Now one person who has come to the Uruguayan's defence is Mike Tyson, who infamously bit off a part of Evander Holyfield's ear during a boxing match. In true Tyson fashion, he said 'stuff' happens and everybody will get over it. And he's right. But while I can understand trying to get the better of an opponent, going all Wolfman on him is a bit extreme.

Feral footballers

At the risk of making a meal of the situation, I hope the authorities make an example of him to all the other feral footballers. On the other hand (or jaw in this case), I think I know what went through his mind as he sunk his incisors into Chelsea player Branislav Ivanovic's arm. If I'm fighting all game long against an opponent who is constantly a thorn in my side, I might lash out too. I probably wouldn't resort to toothy tactics, but I would try something.

I will say this about Suarez though - his taste seems to be diverse. Ivanovic is Serbian, while the first guy he bit, Otman Bakkal, is a Dutchman of Moroccan origin. He just needs to bite a Latino, an Asian and a Scandinavian and he should be satisfied. Belly full!

Give me your biting comments at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com

Source: http://jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20130429/flair/flair4.html

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